Sorry for the lack of updates, I have literally been buried in uni assessments. Seriously, I passed out due to the lack of oxygen, and was technically dead for three hours. Luckily, this gave me a bit of time to think about modern society, and just how it has changed in the last ten years. For instance, back then, Pink was massive with her rubbish track, “Get the Party Started”. But now…. well, she’s even bigger than ever, so that example’s fucked. But it turns out that despite the static nature of our music tastes, the world of technology has been superdynamic. The continual change of techno gadgets and the likes have been warmly embraced by many of the younger, savvier generations. However, anomalies are still being produced, and certain members of society have remained rooted in their customs. These people still listen to Prince, and do indeed Party like it’s 1999. And sadly, I am one of these people. But you, treasured reader, will hopefully avoid the pitfalls and predilections of this stigmatic…stigma. All you need to know is whether or not you satisfy at least half of the following requirements of “People Trapped in the 20th Century”:
(Oh, I should mention that I satisfy nearly all criteria)
(And I apologise for the big words to any readers from the Central Coast and/or Redfern. If you want something more suited to your tastes, check out Twitter. I hear Ashton Kutcher’s making brownies! Yum!)
- You don’t know how to post a blog- Alright, maybe I don’t technically satisfy this. But the program I use is so easy to work that even a monkey would be eventually able to type out Shakespeare in blog form. If it were merely completed in HTML-speak (or however normal people post blogs) I would stand no chance of running a blog, and you would not be able to procrastinate by reading it. So thankyou, WordPress! Thankyou!
- You don’t really know what 4chan is- I could go about 4chan for years. But for brevity’s sake, I’ll condense it into this: Basically, it’s an imageboard website that, whilst starting off as an obscure forum for anime lovers, has integrated into the mainstream culture of the Internet with alarming ease. Its random imageboard, known colloquially as “/b/”, is freaking insane. Pictures of every conceivable thing pop up, each new one more frightening than the next. Chauvinism rules here; the second image I saw was a member’s scantily-clad girlfriend, whom he had labelled as “my cumdumspter”. However, despite these attitudes 4chan has become the breeding ground for many of the Internet’s cultural phenomena. How did RickRolling start? 4chan. Chocolate Rain? 4chan. LOLcats? Unfortunately, 4chan.
- You don’t know how to burn DVDs- Honestly, I haven’t learnt how to do this yet. Is it any different from burning CDs? Is it even possible to burn them? If I do, will Kevin Rudd’s SS come and arrest me?
- You think widgets are just upside down midgets
- You physically purchase CDs- This is our generation’s equivalent of our parents holding on to those records from yesteryear: it’s completely unnecessary to do so given the technology available and the proliferation of MP3s, but nonetheless certain people still buy them, more for future nostalgic value than anything else.
- You actually pay for CDs- Admittedly those people purchasing CDs on iTunes and the likes are a step behind the BitTorrent addicts. Downloading (or streaming) albums for free has become exponentially more popular ever since Napster appeared and immediately set about disintegrating the moral fibre of the Internet. Of course, these addicts will argue that this is a victimless crime, as the music companies are just evil conglomerates who set out to empty our pockets of money needed for milk, bread, and porn- life’s essentials. They position themselves as the modern day Robin Hood, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. It gets a bit more complicated, though, when there are 140 million Robin Hoods in existence. Sure, people now have access to basically every artist’s discography at their fingertips, which is good for the industry, as that’s all musicians want, right? Right? WRONG. Why would musicians put all their effort into something if it didn’t guarantee them a return? Sure, there are probably some of them who make music for the love of it, but these are the rare ones nowadays. Do you think Robbie Williams would make another album if all he got in return was an STD from a groupie? No he wouldn’t! Though that would probably be in the best interests of mankind.
- You don’t have Skype- Remember back in the olden days, when all the sci-fi movies would have those awesome phones where you can see the person you’re talking to? Well it’s arrived, and best of all, it’s free! Skype is probably one of the best things to develop from the Internet in the last ten years (actually, top three: 3. Skype, 2. YouTube, 1. Wikipedia), and to me it seems to still fly under the radar just a bit. So if you haven’t already, create a Skype account, and remember: 90% of all communication is non-verbal. (Note: that is hopefully the first and last statistic I throw into this blog.)
- You don’t have a mobile/MP3/camera all in one- Get with the times, dude! If you don’t have an iPhone, you’re screwed for university. Actually, this can be my next blog entry- No iPhone? No friends.
That is all- Oh no, not Kanye!
Yo Brendan, I like you, and I’ma let you finish, but the Steve Miller Band had the best “Living in the 20th Century” -titled artefact of all time! Of all time!