HEY YOU!

To appease the masses crying over my non-existence in the blogging world, here’s a brand new entry. But I don’t really have anything that I want to write/whinge about in particular, so I guess it’s just stream-of-consciousness again. Be warned, half of what follows will be pure gibberish.

 I’m still not really too sure what the huge fuss over Avatar is. In my opinion, superb technology does not equal greatness, especially when in ten years, we’ll probably watch this and think, “How primitive”. My main issues with the movie: too bloated- it easily could have been cut down by half an hour or so; an insanely predictable/ copyright infringing storyline; lame  dialogue and hyper one-dimensional characters- that whole “I see you” motif actually made me burst out with laughter in the cinema at its inanity; and a limited scope of imagination- a lot of the creatures seemed to be extremist versions of real life animals, almost as if James Cameron had gone on an acid trip to come up with them. So why did everyone think it was so great? I’m not too sure. Maybe they really did like it; maybe the vivid imagery sucked them in (like it did to my boss, who now hates me because I told him Avatar was supremely overrated.) Maybe it is the logical successor to the Lord of the Rings trilogy that is good at first viewing, but almost un-rewatchable. Maybe it was the epic nature of Avatar, a concept that really confuses me. Why should you like something because it’s grand, or because everyone else likes it/ is talking about it? Conversely, why should you like something just because its so anti-populist (like the fascination that some indie music fans have with random bands- “Oh, you’ve got to hear these guys, they’re better than Arcade Fire”). Why can’t we just judge something on its merits? Supposedly our society is essentially meritocratic, so why can’t our personal tastes be as well?

  • Everyone needs to see Hot Rod. It’s almost as funny (and quotable) as Anchorman.
  • Actually, whilst I’m on the subject of things everyone needs to do, here’s a few songs that you must hear: Songs- 11th Dimension by Julian Casablancas, Two Weeks by Grizzly Bear, Heavy Metal Drummer by Wilco, and Another One Bites the Dust by Queen. Why the last one? Because even though Muse may have been ruined by Queen, Queen has been bolstered by Muse.
  • My respect for Panic at the Disco (no, I’m not writing the stupid exclamation) has skyrocketed with the revelation that “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” is a paraphrasing of a line from the book I’m currently reading, Shampoo Planet by Douglas Coupland. I honestly didn’t know they could read. Actually, who would be the most likely celebrity to come out and admit they can’t read? I’d have to go for a sportsperson, someone who’s been famous for most of their life, someone like Tiger Woods. That, or George Bush; I honestly would not be that surprised.
  • How can The Office (original British version) be so damn good? Aside from being hilarious, it’s probably the most accurate representation of a real-life scenario I’ve ever seen in a television show- way more so than those supposed reality shows. Ricky Gervais is easily one of the greatest people ever to live- not only did he co-create this, but he also denounced Twitter on his blog as being “undignified”.
  • A snippet of my shambolic life working at a fruit store. Some of my co-workers are really nice and smart people, but then others are so brain-dead, they can’t even spell their names. One guy, Paul, had written his name on his time-sheet as follows: the letters P-A-U in oversized capitalisation form, and then followed it up with a tiny little ‘l’, which was very obviously put on after he (or someone else!) had noticed the mistake.
  • Another vignette, from my other job as a gardener at a nursing home. My fellow maintenance men were attempting to have a conversation about movies- a brave move on their behalf, since this was the first time in 4 weeks that I’d heard them talk about something apart from DIY home-furnishings and alcohol-fuelled tales. However, they seemed to be having a bit of trouble discussing movies, as their descriptions were unbelievably vague. When the subject of The Rock (or “Rocky”, as they called him) came up, one guy said, and I quote semi-verbatim: “Yeah, I saw him in a movie the other night. He was out in a country town.”

That’s it. That’s all he said! What the hell does that statement contribute to any conversation? How do you respond if you yourself have never moved to a country town? “Oh yes, I hear that the country is the place to be these days”.

Then, they started to talk about Avatar. Once again, obstacles were encountered; one of the guys hadn’t heard of it, and the one who was doing all the talking seemed to have ascertained that it was actually called “Abbatoir”. Somehow, I don’t see that movie being made.

For their final trick, the guys’ topic of choice metamorphosed into “Aliens”, the Ridley Scott (I think?) film. There was general agreement that yes, the lead actress was terrific in her part. The only problem was, no one could remember her name. Not wanting to insult, I refrained from yelling “It’s Sigourney Weaver! Sigourney Weaver, god damn it!”, and instead stifled my pent-up laughter as the others participated in a lot of umming and aahing. Finally, one of them goes, “Ah yeah, I know it- it’s Sisconsey Webber.” The others nodded vicariously in agreement, (“Sisconsey! Of course!”) and I sprinted out of the lunchroom and cried with laughter.

 Alright, that’s part 1. Part 2 may come up tonight, Part 3 maybe as well- it depends on how energetic I feel, and whether I am enough of a bastard to keep randomly and unnecessarily dividing stuff up.

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8 responses to “HEY YOU!

  1. i’ve been terribly negligent to your blog brendan. keep up the ramblings.
    grizzly bear are great, give silversun pickups a good listen man.

  2. Yeah so I haven’t been on here recently but I litch can’t believe you are hacking Panic.

    A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out was probably one of the most revolutionary pop albums. Changed the whole genre up. And not to mention the big-beat style which has made it’s way into so many pop songs one way or another.

    You have to remember that A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out was released in 2005. Some bands are still using that style today.

    It’s a shame their follow-up album wasn’t as good. I still like it for the style it is (that really folk-y kind of acoustic deal) but I prefer Panic! circa ’05.

  3. Lord of the Rings trilogy un-rewatchable ? I THINK NOT SIR, keep such blasphemy out of here!!!

  4. Chris. Panic at the Disco is a sick band. actually listen to their album again cos its one of the best pop albums of the last decade. and really well produced. but many bands are so ‘name-dropping’ with quotes and names from books in their albums and song names. klaxons is another band that does it all the time.

    ps: good blog brendan. hope your co-workers don’t know how to work the internet or else it will be awkward next time you are maintaining gardens.

  5. Ouch. I’m glad I don’t work with you. I’d hate for any little mistake I made to be exaggerated on your blog to make me look like world’s dumbest person!

  6. Haha, excellent. I did know that Panic named their songs after quotes (Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off is a quote from Closer), but I don’t really think it’s possible for my respect for them to rise above 1%, their music is just too awful.

    Also, Ridley Scott directed Alien, James Cameron directed Aliens. I think David Fincher possibly directed one of the other sequels as well.

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