To Kate, Justin Bieber, turbans and misogynists.
What is your appeal based on? Why do people feel the need to create wave after wave of groups dedicated to you, your exploits, or just exploiting you? I admit that the original ideas are often very clever; that Laughing So Hard My Turban Unravels and Falls Into My Curry is a hilarious exercise in acronymal beauty; that the viralling of Kate’s party was ingenious.
But why must you clog up Facebook in a relationship resembling that of the Internet and porn? What do people feel they gain from creating, or even joining, a group whose title is in the format “Lame Joke about Justin Bieber’s gender #347”? Why do they think it is groundbreaking to combine these themes into a portmanteau group?
Why are backward-thinking jokes about women and irons and kitchens so in vogue? Who would repeat these sentiments in real life?
Why are people so disparaging of Justin Bieber? Actually, I know the answer to that. Generally, they’re jealous of his popularity, feel it’s unearned- why should he be so adored when he looks like a kid off a toilet paper ad?
Most importantly- why do you even exist?
Please answer these questions promptly and thoughtfully.
Yours in disdain,